7 Random Things ~ June

I have this weird OCD hanger thing. I have to have all of the wire hangers together and all the plastic hangers together. Do not mix (note to sister!). Dining Al Fresco is my favorite way to entertain.

Simply loving life right now with Roland Garros. Federer is Betterer!

Letting go of the past, truly, is liberating.

Broaching an intersection of life at the moment. Praying for direction in the next move. 

While the vulnerability of letting others in is petrifying in terms of emotional exposure the reward of absolute and comprehensive support is immeasurable.

Along with the hanger thing, I have an umbrella thing. Ask Stacy or Jola for details …  can’t explain it.

High Five Fridays

Ok … I am a day late but better than last week when Friday turned into Monday …

1. No, I Won’t Lean In, Thanks – was a great article I read last week by Zosia Mamet. I had a very bad habit, at the beginning of my career, thinking everyone wanted to set the world on fire. I was wrong. Repeatedly. They frustrated me and I frustrated them. And, I failed, miserably, at leading them successfully. I was reminded that we are to support those we love in whatever they choose to do. Your dreams are your dreams. Success is defined differently by each of us … don’t encroach on another’s significance.
2. Dream. I was reminded this week that we need to revert back to those innocent, untainted dreams. As we age we morph our dreams into what we think makes sense; define them in terms of what seems practical for where we want to end up; reconstruct them as a result of the hurts from our past. And, often times, we simply let them die. Have you ever met a child that did not have ridiculously wild dreams? No. Why? Because God instills this characteristic in each of us, uniquely. What dream did you let fade?
3. Do what makes you happy. Literally. Writing makes me happy but all I did was whine about how I did not think I would be good at it; how I was very apprehensive about letting anyone see what was inside for fear of judgment. There comes a time when we just need to buck up and do what inspires us. Do what scares you! It’s exhilarating. PS – there will ALWAYS be critics.
4. The past is the past. Let it go. And let the Jones’ go as well. I see many that either perpetually try to reincarnate the past or jump on the racetrack to beat the Jones’. Neither are you. If you stop and candidly dissect the past, what did you discover? Reflect fondly on great memories; cringe at the crap; only hit repeat on the lessons well learned. But, move forward … in your own direction.
5. Respect who you are. We all have flaws – it is just the way we are made. But, if you do not respect you no one else will. I heard many women this week criticize themselves. Then, they criticized others. It was this big, negative spiral where positivity was very delinquent. And, sadly, I found myself in the center of it in both respects. When we quit pointing out the flaws of another there just might be room for a nice compliment or a bit of flattery. Try it. See how different you feel when you walk away.

HIGH FIVE FRIDAYS (I mean) MONDAYS

1. Put your best foot forward. I am notorious for rolling out of the house in sweats (in the winter) and cut-off sweats (in the summer) and often times sans make-up. Bad habit, I know. But, it worked and I was comfortable. What I learned from my dear friend is that she is ALWAYS put together (in that she isn't that girl that we roll our eyes at for taking 72 minutes to get ready to go to the market but she always looks great). By this I mean, when I meet her for sushi after work and she is “dressing down” she still has on skinny-ankle jeans, a tank top, well coordinated vest or jacket, a scarf or fun necklace and shoes that are not Rainbows. And, for the added “coolness” affect a great pair of sunnies frame her gorgeous face. She has inspired me to think about what I put on my body even if I am running up to the market. You just never know …
2. Have THAT song. Ya know the one where you want to break out in your best only-to-be-seen-in-the-privacy-of-your-own-home moves. Or, helps you walk 8 blocks from the Metro to work. This song just brings a smile to your face. I have a current one – Brave, by Sara Bareilles and a retro one - Let’s Get Married by Jagged Edge.
3. Aging = Inevitable. Do it with grace and acceptance. Had I known how quickly gravity would have worked on so many areas of my body in such a short amount of time I would have taken much better care of it earlier in life. I have always worn liquid liner but 20+ years of pulling on my eyelids, daily, does not bode well for me now. Sure, find a great anti-aging serum, cream, etc. but no freaky regiments. No one wants to look like Joan Rivers or Barbara Walters. Strive for Jen Aniston.
4. Guys are simple. Plain and simple. Their yes means yes and their no means no. They are simple in their communication. They are simple in their wants. It is us that try to make them as complicated as we are. When you ask your man if something is wrong and he says no he really means nothing is wrong. When you ask him what he is thinking and he says nothing, again, he really means nothing.
5. Have a signature scent. Find a scent that when you are close to someone they say, “You smell great. What are you wearing?” Granted, this is easier said than done. It takes many tries and failures to find a great fragrance but once you do it is totally worth it. I wore Chanel’s Mademoiselle for a decade. A few years ago I switched to Thierry Mugler’s Angel. The bad thing is, for me, since my ex and I have split I feel like I have to break up with my scent as well. Too many memories. But, time for some new ones with a new aroma! 

IN MEMORY OF ... ARLENE MAY

I missed my grandmother more than I ever thought I would over this past year. More often than not I thought about her on an almost daily basis. While I had love and respect for her when I knew she was just a phone call away it wasn’t until she was gone that I realized my reverence for her. Apart from my parents, I know my deep-rooted inner strength (which some might classify as stubbornness) comes from her. My very high tolerance for pain derives from her as well. In my 20’s I looked at these attributes as a great blessing as I could quickly move on from heartache and grief.  In my early 40’s this is a trait, which I constantly battle to overcome as grieving is a process not a sprint. However, the ever-present spirit of tenacity gave me the courage to be who I am today as well as make a stand when I thought necessary (sometimes, stupidly and sometimes, not).

She cleverly ingrained tradition into our family without so much as a whisper. This is an element I am eternally grateful for. While all family pasts are marred with things we wish were never there, there is something about being able to focus on tradition that refines the rough edges of those disconcerting bygones. Coming around the table as a family during the holidays helped realign my focus when life seemed unruly. 

Her benevolence is a legacy that I am trying to integrate into my daily life. She was a giver in every sense of the word. Rarely did she ever do or take time for herself, as there was always someone that needed her kind words, home cooked meals & treats and “just a few dollars for your pocket”. She helped my grandfather age with grace and dignity until his dying day. No matter what youthful or rebellious phase I entered she was stern but loving in reaffirming that the love of family was the tie that binds.

We are not without our faults and neither was she but I hope that when I am remembered it is with loving fondness of a life well lived and caring heart that never ceased. 

Happy Birthday Gram! I love you.

High Five Fridays

1. Know yourself. Know your strengths and know your weaknesses – we all have both. Surround yourself with those who counteract your weaknesses and have confidence in your strengths. I always strive to work on my weaknesses for they can always be improved but am realistic to understand that I will never convert them from a weakness to a strength.
2. Have your own personal style. For me, my sister always says I look like I walked out of a JCrew window. It is my style and it works for me. If it is totally eclectic, be eclectic all the time. If you are preppy-tailored, like me, then you get your pieces from those types of stores. Owning your own style means you look great without looking forced or having the clothes wear you as opposed to the other way around. Plus, when all your pieces go together it helps alleviate the dreaded 10-minute stand in front of your closet each morning thinking, “I have nothing to wear.”
3. Be able to love completely without completely losing yourself. Ladies, we are all subject to this. We get in this new relationship and it becomes all about him; what he likes; what he doesn’t like; who his friends are; how he likes to spend the weekends. The most successful relationships are when two whole people come together to compliment one another – not to look for someone to complete them. Know who you are; be confident in it. This allows you to compromise on things not compromise on you.
4. Organize! If I could, successfully, train ladies on this for a living I just might be able to retire next year. There is so much to be said for success for those that are organized. This allows you to take a comprehensive look at your life (professionally & personally) and see where all the pieces fit. You will know when to say yes and when to say no – with no guilt! It will allow you to successfully plan for things and events and people. If I could give only one piece of advice – this would be it. Learn an organizational system that works for you and you will be successful – guaranteed!
5. Know when to fold. I can argue until the cows come home when I am really passionate about something. I do not like to argue for the sake of argument but I can and do drive home a point when I feel I am not being heard. I do not recommend this strategy – it is not effective or rewarding. I am (slowly) learning when to fold. When I notice the conversation going around the same mountain for the third time and me & the other party are not anywhere other than where we started then I, gracefully (in my mind), back out and let the conversation die. I realize this is hard for us, as women.  When in debate with a man, I have often found that we are right (that intuition thing we got going for us) but if it hurts the relationship professionally or personally it has been proven that authenticating  “rightness” is not always the best course.  (As mentioned, still totally a work in progress. I mean, it’s hard to not be right!)

7 Random Things ~ MAY

I know I am several months behind ... but here is the latest and greatest ... 1. There is something about a man in a tux that always gets me – I’m talking swoon status!

2. I love cleaning out my closet when the season changes.

3. My favorite wrapping for a present is a galvanized tub, wrapped in some tulle, and tied with some bright ribbon and viola!

4. I really hate corn but thoroughly enjoy a good cornbread – go figure?!

5. I miss my grandmother more than I ever thought possible.

6. Sexy Back (by JT) is my ultimate workout song.

7. I love that what bothers me doesn’t faze my sister in the least. It helps neutralize what crazes me!