:: Comfort or Courage ::

Pick one.

I have heard this phrase more than once over that past few weeks ... that you can have COURAGE or you can have COMFORT but you cannot have BOTH.  This is so true. But, oh, how we want both! We want to walk out to the edge of that next new, shiny horizon but only if it gives us a guarantee that all will be well. We are willing to give something our all as long as the return is, at least, tenfold. We are willing to go deep in that relationship as long as we know the other is sacrificing just as much if not just a smidge more.

I don't think we were wired for comfort. In my life, I have found that God places a glimpse of a dream in my heart so that I will have courage to take that next step. I have found God will never give me the whole picture, or even half, because I know (and He knows) I cannot handle it. I know that it would, simply, overwhelm me; it would intimidate me; it would cause me to run back to the place of comfort. To that place that is so opposite of God. To that place where I would rot in complacency and never fulfill that God-given dream.

So, I encourage you ... take that next step. Just one. Into the great unknown. Say yes when you would usually say no. Say no when you really want to say yes but shouldn't. Take a stance from that unpopular yet deep-rooted place that quickens your heartbeat and makes your palms sweat.

Take heart that there are so many around you that are doing the same while there are others that are looking over their shoulder for you to make the first move ...

::Roots & Nostalgia::

There are days such as this when I am trying my hand at a new recipe and I really miss my grandmother. While roulades and cordon bleus are a smidge different they are one in the same in her book, I am sure, as she would tell me “Shelley, just pound it; brown it; and bake it”. She took years to completely master the art of the perfect cordon bleu (including the non-pork version) and I am totally jealous as she always made cooking/baking look so easy as she did it with such straightforwardness and perfection. I miss calling her up and asking for advice on how to pound out the chicken just right. How do I roll them so that they look restaurant quality and not like some lopsided version of a wannabe? I miss asking her the ration of thickness to baking time and her telling me to, simply, eye it. Like, that is a legit culinary term?!

Other things I miss is seeing a Presidential debate or State of the Union and calling to ask her opinion only for her to scoff at me and state that she does not appreciate the politics of the “Great Orator” but much prefers the simple conversations of politicians that have long since retired. She loved and perpetuated straightforwardness. She spoke her mind. She called a spade a spade.

I miss her and her generation’s attitude and tenacity. They did not give up. They were not easily distracted. When they made a commitment they adhered to it regardless of how difficult the obstacle. I long for that in this world. So easily it seems we can choose a different path; we can change course; we can, merely, change our minds because that is how we feel at the moment

She showed me values. She taught me how to stick to my word regardless of how inconvenient it may prove to be. She instilled tradition and family.

All the while, she initiated roots. These roots are what ground me and help me solidify the right decisions every day. When the course seems treacherous and the path seems ominous it is these roots, which she instilled in me, that help me keep to the straight and narrow.

10 things not to regret 10 years from now ...

10. Take A Risk! Whether it is that guy that you never thought you would date yet turned out to be your Prince Charming to that dream job you always wanted but was located in a less-than-desirable city … all turn out to be a lesson that you either love or learn from.

9. Travel! No matter to where … pack your bag and grab your passport. You will never regret learning about another culture or experiencing something beyond your wildest dreams.

8. Know your true friends! We all go through stages where friends come and go throughout our lives. But, recognize those true friends who speak truth and life and hold on to them. They are your greatest anchor and biggest advocates!

7. Acknowledge the good parts! We all know what they are yet our shyness, embarrassment, pride, self-consciousness, etc. keep us from truly displaying them. There are certain phases of our lives where these assets will only be available for a brief time – take hold of them!

6. Respect your parents! While you will not always agree with them, they brought you into this world. They raised you. They sacrificed for you. Return the favor by creating a relationship with them. You will never regret it!

5. Fall madly, deeply, head-over-heels in love! Regardless of whether it works out or not … do it! You will never regret it. While it may be infinitely painful for a season it will not be in vain. If it does not work out it will, infinitely, change you, as it will be the most important lesson you learn. If it turns out to be your fairy-tale ending then... game over! Either way, you win!

4. Be fiscally responsible! Years begin to pile on when you are not paying attention. That shoe fund that started out as fun should turn into a significant contribution to your 401k plan within 5 years. If not, let’s talk.

3. Find a passion. There are certain things that make us unique. What is that one thing that ignites your creativity? Is it art, fashion, food, leadership, ministry? Every woman should have that one thing that makes her light up when she begins to talk about it.

2. Settling! Know what you want and what you are passionate about and what you will not compromise on. Too often, we wait many, many years to capitalize on this. Recognize these priorities early so that compromise does not become difficult as we age.

1. Be who you are! Too many times we compare ourselves to others or to a fictitious measuring stick that we think we should measure up to. Recognize the talents God gave you and thrive in them. They may not be easy and they may not be popular but they are yours … own them! We can only prosper in the arena in which we were created for. Don’t waste time in another’s stadium.

no greater commandment ...

Mark 12:31 - The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." I have contemplated this verse for quite awhile trying to unpack its elements. What does loving you look like?

So, if our greatest call is to love God and love others how do we get to the point that we can authentically make this happen ~ love ourselves, first?

In loving ourselves first we have to accept God’s love through faith. Simple words … tough concept.

We have to understand that God loves us. He really, really loves us… simply because we are His children. While I do not have children as of yet, I do have friends with children as well as my own parents for reference and what I do know is that parents just love their kids. They do not require them to be perfect. They do not expect them to get things right all the time. They do not love them any less because they make mistakes, often. If we, in our carnal ability, can have this limitless love why do we think our heavenly Father is any different?

Somehow we have this preconceived notion that God can only love us when we have all our crap figured out. We have this unrealistic expectation of perfection that must be achieved before we can go to our Father and simply accept His love. How did we get it so twisted? We, often, have much more grace for someone who continues to hurt us time and again than we have for ourselves. Why?

I confess that I am certainly a product of this. I have let the enemy sit on my shoulder and endlessly rattle off all of my offenses (for that day and beyond) and walk away feeling defeated; feeling like I have messed up too much to even approach God. This is a lie! And, it is keeping me and us from our greatest calling.

Today ~ I challenge you to take one small step of faith; to let go of your faults (even for 60 seconds); to tell your Father that you love Him; and, then, go love another?

a four letter word ...

L.O.V.E. It sounds innocent. It sounds endearing. It sounds enthralling.

Yet … it is not.

Love, in its true definition is a choice (aka a verb). It is work. It is turning the other cheek. It is 70x7. It is all that we hope for but sometimes fail to accomplish.

Love is an action. It is choosing to put the needs of another before our own.

Love comes in several different forms.

In the ritual of admiration from the opposite sex it is elating, euphoric, endearing and all consuming. It can drive you to the brink of madness both positively and negatively.

Yet, while I long for that fervent love from my (future) husband, God is calling me to walk out love to those around me; in my everyday life; to the (at times) unlovable. He is asking me if I am up for the challenge; if I am really able to walk out the love of Christ.

There are days I start out well prepared to walk in love. And, then, three hours into the day I begin to fail miserably. By the end of most days I feel so ill equipped to even talk about love let alone display it. 

But, I feel I am called to share this walk with you...

The dirty little word … No!

While it is very customary for the average public to tout four-letter words as if they were very much a part of the present day nomenclature; you throw this two-letter word their way and it brings most to their knees! Why? Why is it so hard to say no? And, why is it so hard for others to accept? I spend last fall with a great group of ladies studying this little word’s antithesis – yes; or, better yet, Your Best Yes (by Lysa TerKeurst). We really unpacked why so many have this horrid disease called the “Need to Please”. Candidly speaking, I do not suffer from this rare disorder in the form that most do. You see, I would say no first because I am not easily persuaded into things that take up my personal, valuable (aka me) time.

Weeks of understanding why most women said yes were much of the same reasons why I said no. In some respects, my no was just as passive as their yes. Both are rooted in fear. While others often dreaded rejection or judgment I became afraid that I would be held accountable for something I really did not want to commit to. In the end, both proved wrong because fear is not what God has for us. “I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).

For some of us, we need to say no to things that are not substantial or align with our purpose so that we can make space for opportunities that are. For others, like me, we need to say no to those fears and attitudes of laziness that would hold us back from fulfilling our God-derived destiny so that we can confidently say yes to those things that will.