::Roots & Nostalgia::

There are days such as this when I am trying my hand at a new recipe and I really miss my grandmother. While roulades and cordon bleus are a smidge different they are one in the same in her book, I am sure, as she would tell me “Shelley, just pound it; brown it; and bake it”. She took years to completely master the art of the perfect cordon bleu (including the non-pork version) and I am totally jealous as she always made cooking/baking look so easy as she did it with such straightforwardness and perfection. I miss calling her up and asking for advice on how to pound out the chicken just right. How do I roll them so that they look restaurant quality and not like some lopsided version of a wannabe? I miss asking her the ration of thickness to baking time and her telling me to, simply, eye it. Like, that is a legit culinary term?!

Other things I miss is seeing a Presidential debate or State of the Union and calling to ask her opinion only for her to scoff at me and state that she does not appreciate the politics of the “Great Orator” but much prefers the simple conversations of politicians that have long since retired. She loved and perpetuated straightforwardness. She spoke her mind. She called a spade a spade.

I miss her and her generation’s attitude and tenacity. They did not give up. They were not easily distracted. When they made a commitment they adhered to it regardless of how difficult the obstacle. I long for that in this world. So easily it seems we can choose a different path; we can change course; we can, merely, change our minds because that is how we feel at the moment

She showed me values. She taught me how to stick to my word regardless of how inconvenient it may prove to be. She instilled tradition and family.

All the while, she initiated roots. These roots are what ground me and help me solidify the right decisions every day. When the course seems treacherous and the path seems ominous it is these roots, which she instilled in me, that help me keep to the straight and narrow.

10 things not to regret 10 years from now ...

  1. Take A Risk! Whether it is that guy that you never thought you would date yet turned out to be your Prince Charming to that dream job you always wanted but was located in a less-than-desirable city … all turn out to be a lesson that you either love or learn from.
  1. Travel! No matter to where … pack your bag and grab your passport. You will never regret learning about another culture or experiencing something beyond your wildest dreams.
  1. Know your true friends! We all go through stages where friends come and go throughout our lives. But, recognize those true friends who speak truth and life and hold on to them. They are your greatest anchor and biggest advocates!
  1. Acknowledge the good parts! We all know what they are yet our shyness, embarrassment, pride, self-consciousness, etc. keep us from truly displaying them. There are certain phases of our lives where these assets will only be available for a brief time – take hold of them!
  1. Respect your parents! While you will not always agree with them, they brought you into this world. They raised you. They sacrificed for you. Return the favor by creating a relationship with them. You will never regret it!
  1. Fall madly, deeply, head-over-heels in love! Regardless of whether it works out or not … do it! You will never regret it. While it may be infinitely painful for a season it will not be in vain. If it does not work out it will, infinitely, change you, as it will be the most important lesson you learn. If it turns out to be your fairy-tale ending then... game over! Either way, you win!
  1. Be fiscally responsible! Years begin to pile on when you are not paying attention. That shoe fund that started out as fun should turn into a significant contribution to your 401k plan within 5 years. If not, let’s talk.
  1. Find a passion. There are certain things that make us unique. What is that one thing that ignites your creativity? Is it art, fashion, food, leadership, ministry? Every woman should have that one thing that makes her light up when she begins to talk about it.
  1. Settling! Know what you want and what you are passionate about and what you will not compromise on. Too often, we wait many, many years to capitalize on this. Recognize these priorities early so that compromise does not become difficult as we age.
  1. Be who you are! Too many times we compare ourselves to others or to a fictitious measuring stick that we think we should measure up to. Recognize the talents God gave you and thrive in them. They may not be easy and they may not be popular but they are yours … own them! We can only prosper in the arena in which we were created for. Don’t waste time in another’s stadium.

7 random questions ...

I love reading and am totally "geekily" inspired by articles that ask questions. So, I wanted to do an experiment on social media that depicts that. Here are 7 questions that I love to know about anyone whom I meet. And, because this is transparent and, therefore, a bit intimidating I thought I would go first. I would love for you to respond to this post or send me your answers via facebook. What is the best advice you give?

Do what you love! No matter how much money it does or does not pay you should always do what inspires you in the morning and lets you sleep peacefully at night.

What is your worst failure and what did you learn from it?

My marriage. I wanted to be whom he wanted me to be and I wanted him to be whom I wanted him to be and we were so far from that. Marriage is about accepting the other where they are and making a commitment to grow together rather letting life tear you apart. From this I learned to be honest about all situations (although the lesson was not instantaneous). But, always evaluate things and people for what they are and not what YOU aspire them to be.

What is your proudest moment?

I think it is when I finally made VP of my company. I had worked so many years to be great at my job. I have always loved my career and have worked very hard at being the best. I left the comfort of a company I had been a part of for many, many years because I knew the ceiling was low. There were so many talented leaders that I was up against for the next level and while I loved the company dearly I knew I had to branch out to grow more quickly.

What do you think is beautiful?

People who are and can totally be themselves. God made each of us unique. Those who recognize and thrive in that are the most beautiful to me.

What do you love most about you?

My intuition and wisdom. For years I steered cleared of what my gut and heart told me. Lately, I have learned that had I listened to them both a long time ago I think I would have saved myself from much heartache.

What is your most influential moment?

I am not sure I have had ONE profound moment but I hope that amongst my small circle of #3CCF I am influential often. I am learning that just because I have an opinion or can see the forest through the trees does not mean I need to help the other person see or do the same. Holding my tongue has been a huge lesson in maturity for me.

What is your most prized possession?

Things my sister creates for me. I have always had a work ledger in which all notes and thoughts of the day are recorded. Right now I have one in which my sister made me and every few pages it contains encouraging phrases that, truly, consist of no more than a five words but are extremely inspiring and motivating.

 

6 Do’s and a Don’t of living a happy life …

 

  1. Do what you love. I know this is very cliché but it is so true. If you are a creative yet go to work in the financial field I can guarantee that you will not be happy. While the financial world may provide you with the bank account you may enjoy it does not fulfill you when you lay your head on the pillow at night.
  2. Do have an inspiration (or two). I think there are tangible inspirations as well as people who inspire us and we need both. Visual inspiration is not to be taken for granted - even for the non-creative types. Everyone is inspired by something and someone. Find both.
  3. Do define the limitations of B.S. in your life. We are the only ones that can control what comes in and what we let out of our lives. Create a barrier. Dump what is not relevant and absorb what will enrich you.
  4. Do have trusted friends. While you may not always like what they have to say they will, likely, never steer you wrong. And note, despite what social media depicts, this circle should be very small. Only a few can and will know you well. Trust them!
  5. Do have a mentor. You are never too old to have a mentor personally or professionally. They are the two (one for each) that can see unbiased(ly) into your life. They can depict situations that you cannot see coming and offer invaluable advice!
  6. Do see reality. We tend to envision things as we wish them to be as opposed to the reality of what they are. The previous 5 steps may help in doing that.
  7. Don’t be afraid to try something new. I know this is elementary but the older we get, I find, that the more rigid we become. Whether it is a cuisine that you would not normally eat or another that you would not typically call your “type” trying something new often surprises you on a whole new level!

 

WHAT IF... ?

As you may have guessed from previous posts, I love FALL! I love that a new season begins. But, not only is this a new season but it is the season of brilliant change. It is where the time of investment begins to manifest itself in a sea of vibrant color and, for me a time where things that I have worked so hard for begin to fall into place. As if on cue, I had the opportunity to spend the weekend encouraged by those who inspire women to be the best that they can be and strive to obtain the life that they desire. And, after a day and a half of inspiration a pressing question began to appear again and again …

            If my life was a book and I was the author … how would it end?

While I, genuinely, contemplated this question over and over again there are many aspects of my life that I confidently confess I would not change. However, there are a few areas where, were I totally honest, the threads of doubt and questioning begin to toy with the recesses of my mind and I truly begin to ask … “What if?”

So, I would love to know … if you knew that you had the ability to rewrite your story what would you say? How would it differ from where you are today? Do you think that you have the ability to change your course?

IN MEMORY OF ... ARLENE MAY

I missed my grandmother more than I ever thought I would over this past year. More often than not I thought about her on an almost daily basis. While I had love and respect for her when I knew she was just a phone call away it wasn’t until she was gone that I realized my reverence for her. Apart from my parents, I know my deep-rooted inner strength (which some might classify as stubbornness) comes from her. My very high tolerance for pain derives from her as well. In my 20’s I looked at these attributes as a great blessing as I could quickly move on from heartache and grief.  In my early 40’s this is a trait, which I constantly battle to overcome as grieving is a process not a sprint. However, the ever-present spirit of tenacity gave me the courage to be who I am today as well as make a stand when I thought necessary (sometimes, stupidly and sometimes, not).

She cleverly ingrained tradition into our family without so much as a whisper. This is an element I am eternally grateful for. While all family pasts are marred with things we wish were never there, there is something about being able to focus on tradition that refines the rough edges of those disconcerting bygones. Coming around the table as a family during the holidays helped realign my focus when life seemed unruly. 

Her benevolence is a legacy that I am trying to integrate into my daily life. She was a giver in every sense of the word. Rarely did she ever do or take time for herself, as there was always someone that needed her kind words, home cooked meals & treats and “just a few dollars for your pocket”. She helped my grandfather age with grace and dignity until his dying day. No matter what youthful or rebellious phase I entered she was stern but loving in reaffirming that the love of family was the tie that binds.

We are not without our faults and neither was she but I hope that when I am remembered it is with loving fondness of a life well lived and caring heart that never ceased. 

Happy Birthday Gram! I love you.