- Know yourself. Know your strengths and know your weaknesses – we all have both. Surround yourself with those who counteract your weaknesses and have confidence in your strengths. I always strive to work on my weaknesses for they can always be improved but am realistic to understand that I will never convert them from a weakness to a strength.
- Have your own personal style. For me, my sister always says I look like I walked out of a JCrew window. It is my style and it works for me. If it is totally eclectic, be eclectic all the time. If you are preppy-tailored, like me, then you get your pieces from those types of stores. Owning your own style means you look great without looking forced or having the clothes wear you as opposed to the other way around. Plus, when all your pieces go together it helps alleviate the dreaded 10-minute stand in front of your closet each morning thinking, “I have nothing to wear.”
- Be able to love completely without completely losing yourself. Ladies, we are all subject to this. We get in this new relationship and it becomes all about him; what he likes; what he doesn’t like; who his friends are; how he likes to spend the weekends. The most successful relationships are when two whole people come together to compliment one another – not to look for someone to complete them. Know who you are; be confident in it. This allows you to compromise on things not compromise on you.
- Organize! If I could, successfully, train ladies on this for a living I just might be able to retire next year. There is so much to be said for success for those that are organized. This allows you to take a comprehensive look at your life (professionally & personally) and see where all the pieces fit. You will know when to say yes and when to say no – with no guilt! It will allow you to successfully plan for things and events and people. If I could give only one piece of advice – this would be it. Learn an organizational system that works for you and you will be successful – guaranteed!
- Know when to fold. I can argue until the cows come home when I am really passionate about something. I do not like to argue for the sake of argument but I can and do drive home a point when I feel I am not being heard. I do not recommend this strategy – it is not effective or rewarding. I am (slowly) learning when to fold. When I notice the conversation going around the same mountain for the third time and me & the other party are not anywhere other than where we started then I, gracefully (in my mind), back out and let the conversation die. I realize this is hard for us, as women. When in debate with a man, I have often found that we are right (that intuition thing we got going for us) but if it hurts the relationship professionally or personally it has been proven that authenticating “rightness” is not always the best course. (As mentioned, still totally a work in progress. I mean, it’s hard to not be right!)