High Five Fridays

For a month (you know I have a hard time with writing commitments), each Friday I will spill five things/secrets that I think are relative - to me, of course. Most will probably be silly but, perhaps, one may help someone, somewhere, out there.  

1. Figure out what makes you happy. For me, a half a pot of coffee and the latest copies of Marie Claire, Glamour and In Style take me to my happy place. I read them cover-to-cover and rip out pages with great type, funny antidotes or clever quotes. I make a book each year with a compilation of all my torn pages.
2. What soothes your soul? I love jazz and red wine. There are no jazz stations left on the radio so I am subject to what Pandora has to offer or the “jazz-esque” MC stations from Comcast. When I am faced with a daunting task such as cleaning the upstairs portion of my house from the hurricane of what was a very hectic week I pour myself a nice glass of Cab and switch on Pandora. There is something sexy about the combo that makes the overwhelming task much more bearable.
3. Focus on the positive. I have never really been a fan of fake it ‘til you make it mentality so I had to figure out how to not fake it and find positivity in even the most negative of situations. For me, my formula is fairly simple … journal it (because once you get it all out on paper the situation seems much less devastating) and run it by a trusted friend. This sounding board should be a trusted confidante not someone who will wallow in your self-pity but will be honest, motivating and encouraging.
4. Have an ear-to-ear grin memory. Whether stuck in traffic or in a dreadful board meeting have a memory that once it pops into your brain you cannot help but smile from ear to ear. In traffic this will instantly calm your raging vocabulary. In a board meeting it will leave your coworkers wondering just what inspired such a gratified emotion.
5. Please, don’t categorize all us Christians as freaks. Despite what movies and television shows portray us to be we are not all that bad, abnormal or crazy (The image of Annelle from Steel Magnolias always pops into mind). Everyone needs a source of peace. For us, it is faith. You may not agree or like it but if you get to know us we are not half bad and, typically, most of us do not try to shove our beliefs or the Bible down your throat. We are a fairly gentle breed that stand strong in our belief. I mean, if Jason Kennedy can be one of us how bad can we, really, be?

LACES & GRACE(S)

 

On Friday, spring had finally sprung in the DC area and with the super long 6-month winter everyone was in the mood to thaw out. And, with this comes the runners. I swear there are times that I think Forrest Gump multiplied to the nth degree in this area.

Runners have always fascinated me. Secretly, I have always wanted to be one. I crave the serenity that appears to exude from their very being just by lacing up a pair of running shoes. However, after 5 plus years of trying to join the elite runner’s club it just doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me. Yet, I continue to try season after season.

Which brings me back to Friday. The weather was gorgeous and it was the perfect evening for a little 5k. But, my inner self was warring with my practical self on debating whether to lace up the sneakers or pour a crisp glass of wine and enjoy the first great Friday evening on the back porch with my mom. Practicality won and I headed to Crystal City with my sister 

So, there I stood … at the back of the crowd with the double-wide baby strollers; the way-too-large dogs harnessed on way too long of leashes; and all those who vowed that when the weather turned nicer they would start a running regiment thinking I should surely have graduated from the 14.5 minute mile crowd after 5 years. I began to get really discouraged as I do at the start of every running season. Tears began to well in my eyes and I turned away from my sister, who has forever been a consistent 10-minute-miler, not wanting to have to explain the frustration that permeates year after year.

Quickly, I took inventory again of all those who had the courage to lace up their shoes and mentally determined to do 3 miles. And, I psychologically calculated what I would say to any of them that began to feel discouraged or thought they were not good enough or fast enough to be out there. I realized that I needed to give myself that pep talk realizing that even though I may never be the 10-minute-miler I am out there; I am trying; and I am progressing forward. As I continue to grow in my grace for others I was reminded that it should also be afforded to myself.

I did not make the 10-minute club but I did shave off a little less than a minute per mile. One step at a time …

ONE-EYED LESSONS

Things I’ve learned from my one-eyed dog …

1. Imperfections are what make us unique. While each of our faces is made up of two eyes, a nose and a mouth no two people are alike. Each little scar, freckle and mark makes us different from another. And, when you look past the thing that makes a person dissimilar from yourself you often find a hidden treasure that binds us all together in a similar sphere.
2. Don’t let your handicap become your crutch. I have met many who have a handicap in one fashion or another and they are among some of the strongest people in the world. I think there is a certain strand of tenacity that accompanies an imperfection. God bestows on us each an individual set of gifts. To those that lack one thing He seems to multiply in another.
3. Love is the thing. Whether canine or human, most times, at the end of the day all you need is love. They say there is no love like that of a dog and when I come home from an exhausting day her love is the antidote that corrects all the wrong. I think we should share this basic love with one another as well. A kind word or a genuinely warm hug permeates the most rigid of boundaries.
4. Know your angles. Whether in life or in photos we all have a good side. Always remember to turn toward it at a moment's notice. Be it the flash of a camera or a flash of life be prepared to meet it head on with your best side forward!
5. Pride is pride. Again, whether canine or human we all bestow an element of pride. When she stumbles because she did not see an impending obstacle on her right side she quickly assesses who witnessed this blunder and how much did they actually see. I find this true of myself as well. When pride thrusts us into a realm of vanity we need to take a step back; evaluate the fact that we are – indeed- human and therefore, fallible; and just have a good hard laugh at ourselves. When we do not take ourselves too seriously those that love us are allowed to accept us at our worst as well as our best. Because, after all … all you need is love!

High School Rewind

I admit - up front - that this post idea was totally poached from one of my favorite bloggers Emily Schuman’s Cupcakes & Cashmere (two of my favorite things – especially when they come in pink!) Advice To My High School Self…

1. Enjoy the Moment. While in high school I had such big dreams of all that I wanted to accomplish in my precious 4 years – make homecoming court, become a cheerleader (no judgment, please), date the preacher’s son (yes, I went to a private Christian school) and make straight A’s (and I was totally a nerdy geek!). I did accomplish all of these things but each time I reached a milestone it was so anticlimactic. I spent so much time and vigor obtaining these things that when I achieved them there was very little energy to enjoy them or, even worse, I was too busy trying to achieve the next goal that I didn’t enjoy what I had. This is a hard habit to break once it takes root. It took me countless year to learn to live in contentment.
2. Ensure you find (at least, part of) yourself. I think I was really caught up in doing and being what others wanted me to be – parents, smart friends, social forces – that it was not until I graduated college did I begin the search to find the real and total me. Had I recognized in my early years that I loved to travel I would have made decisions 20 years ago that would have better supported this indulgence.
3. Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back. I think this is easier to say in hindsight than actually live and breath as an adolescent. As a tall, gawky, awkward individual I constantly lived in fear of disappointing people. I had this drive of perfection, which propelled me to be very successful but also took me 15 years to realize it was and is an unrealistic goal that will never be attained. Going back I would have just enjoyed the process of things much more and laughed at myself realizing it was all part of my development.
4. Develop a Great Health and Fitness Lifestyle. As mentioned, I was a cheerleader (for one year) and I did try out for the softball team (making it but being so bad at batting I was quickly asked to take stats – for a private Christian school, may I remind you. Yes, I was that bad). There was no dance squad (something in which I was semi-successful) so I gave up sports all together. This lack of activity never led to a complete road of health destruction but it certainly made it much more difficult to start and maintain a constant, healthy fitness level in my adult years.
5. Disappointment is Inevitable. The fact that you took up reading, as it was the only thing left when all your friends went to sports practice. The super cute guy that never noticed you and now you don’t even remember his name or face. The fact that you came in second in every class because you just couldn’t make yourself smarter than Kristi Tesch. What I learned is that since high school my love for reading has provided me with such a wealth of knowledge for my growth and the development of my teams. Coming in second prepared me for a life of humility and there is grace knowing that there will always be others that smarter, richer, better looking than me. And, that I have only dated guys that touched my soul not just my physicality And, all that’s okay.

The Blessing in Loss

No matter how many cherished friends you have or how big your family is or how close-knit your spiritual circle is no one can prepare you for loss. Even if someone has walked in your path and knows death in the same manner as you it still does not provide a solace from the pain. When you are alone in the darkness and your mind races with the “whys” how do you find the blessing in the loss? There is much contradiction over whether God “allows” things to happen and why He does – especially for the innocent. While I am certainly not a biblical scholar I can only draw on from my own experience and walk. There were many years that I asked God why. In the beginning, my coping mechanism was just to shove the hurt as far down in my soul as possible. Well, we all know that is just a bad idea on so many levels. For almost two years the pain and hurt reared its ugly head with a road map to a completely destructive and ungodly life that, in the end, just resulted in more pain and anguish as I, then, had multiple things to work through.

Once I righted my demolition course I then dug deep into the recesses of my soul where the ache of losing my son through miscarriage resided. I began to search for any small glimpse of hope that would comfort me as just accepting this circumstance was beyond my comprehension. Friends and society told me that this happens to thousands of women on a daily basis and while it stings life goes on. I needed to understand that God understood and that He could provide comfort.

I was led to the Beatitudes and the meaning of blessing.

The definition of blessed means those who live with God in heaven. “Oh!” is not an effective adjective to describe my reaction. This meaning of blessing that intertwines so complexly in our natural and supernatural man gave me a whole new perspective as I lived in this elementary state of understanding when it came to the definition of blessing. For me, blessed was an adjective that I as a Christian had glibly tossed around for much of my life. But, understanding its meaning brought sobriety to my situation. Blessed is not a label we Christians wear around as an extension of happiness. It is not a promise of bliss, laughter, joy, pleasure or a multitude of earthly possessions. In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, blessed means I get to experience joy and hope outside of the circumstance that I am walking through.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5:4). 

And then the Holy Spirit led me to a deeper meaning … I am blessed in this situation because I get to draw nearer to God and that is one of the things He longs for most. When things are going well and I live out the “blessed” life according to my own meaning I can often be distant from God. But when catastrophe hits and I find myself running to Him, He becomes blessed as well. Therein lies my blessing in loss. While it may be simple, it is the hope that helps me survive the "whys".

A GREAT DEBATE

I read an article yesterday regarding Alec Baldwin and his choice to retire from the public eye. It was a lengthy read; however, it held my interest because the media is/was so quick to highlight every negative comment or thought that he could ever conjure all the while so quickly able to bypass any good the man had ever done. Apparently, the latest accusation is that he is a homophobic and the world cannot see past that (albeit, there is no concrete evidence that proves the allegation).  This is not a soapbox of whether Alec is right or wrong – in any capacity. This is about me looking at someone who has had an opinion and it is automatically labeled negative – regardless of its orientation or intent. And, it led me to think about how quick we, as a society, are to jump on a bandwagon that is headed straight into Negativityville at a rapid speed!

I don’t know about you but last I checked I was not perfect. While it is an ambition I (fictitiously) think I may one day achieve the reality is that I fail. And, I fail daily. And, so do those around me – no matter how much I love them. But, when I fail (and when they fail) why are we so quick to judge, label and mock?

While I can appreciate some of Alec’s early film work (I cannot attest to his sitcom fame as I have never watched an episode of 30 Rock) it is safe to say that he has bordered on the line of inappropriate more than not. Yet, in reading his article and swiftly conducting a Google search it is proven that he has probably provided as much benefit to the world (to the tune of $14M) as he has “harm”. In all the press I read about him I do not recall charitable and gracious as the headline - although Google begs to differ. What I do recall are all the times that he fell short.

Why do we condemn so quickly? God commanded that we love Him and love others – first and foremost – above all else. If we are to walk in these things why do we so easily falter outside of them?

Before we judge, can we take a step back? Look at the situation and the person as a whole and account for its totality? We have all lipped off in anger. We have all said things that will forever live in eternity. We have all been victims of infamy either by bad judgment or by misunderstanding. But, when are we going to make a stand by taking a moment and walk in love?

Jesus says, what you do to the least of these you do to me – Matthew 25:40 (paraphrasing, mine). Even if you are not one to turn a cheek because Christ instructed you to … can you turn a cheek in hopes that someday, someone will do the same for you?