No matter how many cherished friends you have or how big your family is or how close-knit your spiritual circle is no one can prepare you for loss. Even if someone has walked in your path and knows death in the same manner as you it still does not provide a solace from the pain. When you are alone in the darkness and your mind races with the “whys” how do you find the blessing in the loss? There is much contradiction over whether God “allows” things to happen and why He does – especially for the innocent. While I am certainly not a biblical scholar I can only draw on from my own experience and walk. There were many years that I asked God why. In the beginning, my coping mechanism was just to shove the hurt as far down in my soul as possible. Well, we all know that is just a bad idea on so many levels. For almost two years the pain and hurt reared its ugly head with a road map to a completely destructive and ungodly life that, in the end, just resulted in more pain and anguish as I, then, had multiple things to work through.
Once I righted my demolition course I then dug deep into the recesses of my soul where the ache of losing my son through miscarriage resided. I began to search for any small glimpse of hope that would comfort me as just accepting this circumstance was beyond my comprehension. Friends and society told me that this happens to thousands of women on a daily basis and while it stings life goes on. I needed to understand that God understood and that He could provide comfort.
I was led to the Beatitudes and the meaning of blessing.
The definition of blessed means those who live with God in heaven. “Oh!” is not an effective adjective to describe my reaction. This meaning of blessing that intertwines so complexly in our natural and supernatural man gave me a whole new perspective as I lived in this elementary state of understanding when it came to the definition of blessing. For me, blessed was an adjective that I as a Christian had glibly tossed around for much of my life. But, understanding its meaning brought sobriety to my situation. Blessed is not a label we Christians wear around as an extension of happiness. It is not a promise of bliss, laughter, joy, pleasure or a multitude of earthly possessions. In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, blessed means I get to experience joy and hope outside of the circumstance that I am walking through.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5:4).
And then the Holy Spirit led me to a deeper meaning … I am blessed in this situation because I get to draw nearer to God and that is one of the things He longs for most. When things are going well and I live out the “blessed” life according to my own meaning I can often be distant from God. But when catastrophe hits and I find myself running to Him, He becomes blessed as well. Therein lies my blessing in loss. While it may be simple, it is the hope that helps me survive the "whys".