A to Z from 2014 ...

I love to reflect on a past year to see what I have learned and how I have grown. Below is a word for each letter that immediately came to me upon reflection of 2014.  A – attitude. It ‘s all about the attitude in how things are approached. Once the attitude changes it’s so surprising to see how the situations change.

B – brave. Be brave and watch what unfolds!

C – chapters. There were many chapters that I finally closed and said good-bye to forever - with a very heavy heart; but I know that God has something so much better!

D – devo. What a difference it makes in your day!

E – evolve. Our way of evolving is usually vastly different than the way God is trying to evolve us. Be receptive!

F- faith. Such a simple word. Such a huge requirement!

G – God. Is. In. Everything. If you just let Him.

H – heart. It is the vessel through which the Holy Spirit speaks. Listen!

I – influence. You have such a huge sphere of influence. Remember someone is always watching and learning from you even in the minute things.

J – justification. I had to let it go. Some things are just as they are.

K – knowledge. Never stop thirsting for knowledge. The more you know the more you grow! (Insert NBC chimes here)

L – love. It all starts and ends with love.

M – movement. Propel forward. Don’t remain underdeveloped.

N- nice. Just be nice! Have the maturity and courage to talk to someone that hurt you. Don’t be so opinionated on things you many know nothing about and tear others down as a result of your pain (especially through social media outlets). The receiving end just hurts.

O – openness. Be open to see where God is leading you. It is often down a path that is narrow, challenging, and very far from the one you thought you wanted/needed to be on.

P – productivity. Learn to use resources and words efficiently. Ensure that what you are doing has meaning … and significance.

Q – quiet. When I wanted to retort I just stayed quiet and turned in a different direction. There is power in silence.

R – react. Careful how you act and react. Consequences of innate reaction are often much more treacherous and long lasting than your immediate gratification.

S – sin. No sin is worse, less or better than another. Careful with your judgment.

T – truth and trust. Be truthful so you never have to watch over your shoulder; justify; or double-step. Trust in the truth!

U – unwavering. No matter how hard it gets remember that you asked God to grow and stretch you. No growth comes without pain. Don’t waiver from your course!

V – victory. Be in tune with small victories that you accomplish as well as the ones God accomplishes on your behalf.

W – wilderness. Sometimes is seems like we wander and wander in the wilderness. Take heart! If you are obedient it is amazing to see what’s at the clearing.

X – (e)xellence. Everything that you do; do it with excellence!

Y – yearn. Yearn for something more. Dig for something deeper. Never settle.

Z – zealous. Be passionate!

Simply, Faith ...

Faith is ~ taking a chance even if you're wrong. It is about letting go of something, anything, all the things we cling to ... to step out in total trust and reliance on God. Don't be pulled apart, emotionally or mentally, by trying to make something rational out of what has been placed in your heart, spiritually. It is all, simply, a step of faith ...

Misconceptions of Being a Leader ...

“You get to be so opinionated as a leader.” We have to make split second decisions. All. Day. Long. We, literally, have 3.2 seconds to make a decision for a problem that you brought to us before we have to move along to your peer who is also asking for us to help with their decision-making on a dozen other problems. So, while it may seem like a mere opinion to you it really is that we have the ability to make wise business decisions in a few brief moments as we filter it through a laundry list of scenarios which include but are not limited to … How does this affect the current unit and team? How does this affect the dynamics of company? Is this the right decision for the team? How will this result impact the future? “All you do is sit around and chat while drinking coffee.” While we do talk – a lot – it is because we need to know what goes on in the world of those who work with (and for) us. Sometimes we only get a rare 45 minutes a week to download on what is going on in your world and how we can help. And, I have found, that one opens up much more over Starbucks.

“It is so great to be the boss because it is so easy.” Being the boss means that you have a 24/7 child. You never really get to completely turn work off. When you are driving to work you are mentally talking through a tough conversation that needs to be had. When you are driving home you are contemplating if you completed everything you needed to within your best capacity. When you try to fall asleep you are thinking about everything from the 8 a.m. coffee chat to the 6 p.m. rethinking of tomorrow’s solidified game plan and all that happened in between… only to contemplate that you have to do it all again in a few brief hours

“Why in the world did you hire that person?” We, like you, get a brief 60 minutes (at most) with someone looking for a job. And, 9 out of 10 times they put their best foot forward and have some experience with nailing an interview. So, while someone may interview well does not always translate into a great hire. We, as leaders, have no additional superpowers to fine-tune the BS meter in an interview. Some people just interview extremely well and fail to deliver.

“Everyone likes the boss.” NO! No one ever likes the boss. They say they like the boss – to the bosses face. But, they really don’t. However, at the end of the day, it is not about being liked. It is about making decisions that are best for your team and for your business, which means that, you are, rarely, liked.

“It is so great to be the boss because you can delegate everything.” The higher you go, yes, the more you delegate but it is so that you can make room on your plate to learn something new. True leaders are always evolving. They are never satisfied with where they are. They want the next challenge. In order to do that they need to raise great leaders to take on some of the daily load they carry.

“I can’t wait until I am the boss because _______ (fill in blank here).” Really – you can! It is lonely at the top. Refer to quote #5. For the one decision that makes one person happy there are 10 others that are ready to refute. As hard as it is, leadership is not about being liked (at all!). It is about being respected. Your team should respect that you have a certain knowledge and authority when you speak. Your team should know that, despite losing the popularity contest, you would and will make the best business decision that has their best interest at heart.

~ Seventy times 7 ~

I have had the pleasure and agony of working with forgiveness over that past several weeks. This week, in particular, our love/hate relationship came to a culminating peak. I had to make a choice. I could choose to treat another as they were treating me. Or, I could extend an element of mercy and accept that I cannot change how someone feels about me. This concept, for me, seems so easy to articulate yet is extremely challenging to walk out. 

We all make mistakes. We all stumble and flounder about. The truth of the matter is we are all just trying to, successfully, put one foot in front of the other. There are days when we are fairly successful in this task. Then, there are others where we just fall completely flat. It is in these moments, when we are totally horizontal glancing up at those who seem to be doing this thing we called LIFE so much more successfully than we are where we make that split-second choice. Do I take responsibility for my feelings regardless of my being guilty (and lack thereof) or do I lash out at another – simply, because I can? Or, better yet, because that is how they are treating me?

Most of the time I am able to afford reprieve, as I have come to terms with the fact that I am pretty fallible and hope those around me want to return the favor. And, often, Joyce Meyer's words ring in the back of my head to not be offended easily as I never know how many times in a week that I inadvertently offended someone else. However, in those rare moments when I know that the error was not mine, yet I am at the receiving end of a brutal attack is when my “passionate nature” rears its ugly head.

When my heartbeat quickens and the heat of indignation begins to creep up my neck I stop and breathe for a moment. I will be candid enough to admit that an applicable bible verse is not the first thing that pops into my mind. But, a song and a movie clip quickly pass through my psyche (yes, I believe a lot of life's reactions can be experienced either through songs or movie clips).  Human lyrics (by Christina Perri)

But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

and the scene from the Sex & the City movie where Carrie and Miranda were sitting in the cab and they were debating over which mistakes are forgivable and which are not. Carrie simply says “It’s forgiveness” regardless of the magnitude of the offense.  

What I remembered and wholeheartedly came to accept (with the help of a lot of prayer) is that forgiveness does not need to make sense; it does not need to be justified; it does not need to be warranted; it does not need to be invited; it does not need to be reciprocated; it does not need to be validated. It needs to just be.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

~TRUTH~

What do you do when life throws you a curveball? How do you recover when you are thinking one thing and suddenly you are smacked with another? Where do you find the balance in truth and opinion? Take in stride where someone is in their life and the reflection it has on you. Walk in mercy to understand that sometimes emotions are simply a reaction to something deeper. And, sometimes there is a truth vein that runs through it all.

Sift through to understand what is real and decide to change it. Toss what does not pertain. Pray. Breathe. Let it go.

~ THE PRESENT SEASON ~

You cannot fully embrace the current season of your life until you let go of a past season and quit anxiously striving for the next. Be present. This thought came to me last week as I was reflecting on a couple of conversations I had with a few friends.  This notion formulated as an encouragement to another but really spoke to me more than her. I honestly thought I had let go of the past season(s) but as I began to take a mental inventory of my thoughts I found that I often reverted back to what used to be. Or, used it as a measuring stick for things and people who are currently in my life. The past is the past for a reason. A relationship that once was but is no longer is because there is a need that was no longer being met. While we learn from it I think we have a tendency to hang on to notions of what once was for way too long.

On the flip side, I found myself visualizing the future. I sincerely believe that we should have hopes and dreams but not to the detriment of what we are called to do in this season of our lives. I am anxious for that husband and family but it is not where I am to be at this very moment. I know that it will happen in due (and God’s) time and I was prompted to take record of my thoughts and the amount of energy I am exerting to make my current season successful. Being transparent, when I calculated the thoughts of the past and the thoughts of the future the amount of present thoughts were very dismal in compare.

Just as I told my dear friend on the phone … “It’s okay.” It really is. I know her capacity and her mind wants to take her to places she is not called to be at the moment. My mind is reeling with the same. However, when we stop, breathe, and accept the present what a force we will be!