I have had the pleasure and agony of working with forgiveness over that past several weeks. This week, in particular, our love/hate relationship came to a culminating peak. I had to make a choice. I could choose to treat another as they were treating me. Or, I could extend an element of mercy and accept that I cannot change how someone feels about me. This concept, for me, seems so easy to articulate yet is extremely challenging to walk out.
We all make mistakes. We all stumble and flounder about. The truth of the matter is we are all just trying to, successfully, put one foot in front of the other. There are days when we are fairly successful in this task. Then, there are others where we just fall completely flat. It is in these moments, when we are totally horizontal glancing up at those who seem to be doing this thing we called LIFE so much more successfully than we are where we make that split-second choice. Do I take responsibility for my feelings regardless of my being guilty (and lack thereof) or do I lash out at another – simply, because I can? Or, better yet, because that is how they are treating me?
Most of the time I am able to afford reprieve, as I have come to terms with the fact that I am pretty fallible and hope those around me want to return the favor. And, often, Joyce Meyer's words ring in the back of my head to not be offended easily as I never know how many times in a week that I inadvertently offended someone else. However, in those rare moments when I know that the error was not mine, yet I am at the receiving end of a brutal attack is when my “passionate nature” rears its ugly head.
When my heartbeat quickens and the heat of indignation begins to creep up my neck I stop and breathe for a moment. I will be candid enough to admit that an applicable bible verse is not the first thing that pops into my mind. But, a song and a movie clip quickly pass through my psyche (yes, I believe a lot of life's reactions can be experienced either through songs or movie clips). Human lyrics (by Christina Perri)
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
and the scene from the Sex & the City movie where Carrie and Miranda were sitting in the cab and they were debating over which mistakes are forgivable and which are not. Carrie simply says “It’s forgiveness” regardless of the magnitude of the offense.
What I remembered and wholeheartedly came to accept (with the help of a lot of prayer) is that forgiveness does not need to make sense; it does not need to be justified; it does not need to be warranted; it does not need to be invited; it does not need to be reciprocated; it does not need to be validated. It needs to just be.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32