While it is very customary for the average public to tout four-letter words as if they were very much a part of the present day nomenclature; you throw this two-letter word their way and it brings most to their knees! Why? Why is it so hard to say no? And, why is it so hard for others to accept? I spend last fall with a great group of ladies studying this little word’s antithesis – yes; or, better yet, Your Best Yes (by Lysa TerKeurst). We really unpacked why so many have this horrid disease called the “Need to Please”. Candidly speaking, I do not suffer from this rare disorder in the form that most do. You see, I would say no first because I am not easily persuaded into things that take up my personal, valuable (aka me) time.
Weeks of understanding why most women said yes were much of the same reasons why I said no. In some respects, my no was just as passive as their yes. Both are rooted in fear. While others often dreaded rejection or judgment I became afraid that I would be held accountable for something I really did not want to commit to. In the end, both proved wrong because fear is not what God has for us. “I sought the LORD, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).
For some of us, we need to say no to things that are not substantial or align with our purpose so that we can make space for opportunities that are. For others, like me, we need to say no to those fears and attitudes of laziness that would hold us back from fulfilling our God-derived destiny so that we can confidently say yes to those things that will.