Where am I going? After having put this category up I am sort of questioning if it was one of my more brilliant ideas. I am coming up with a pretty resounding no! The thought behind this classification was an outlet in which I would share where I was going (obviously) as I love to hear others’ stories about how they are evolving and where they think their next steps should take them. So, to be fair, I thought I would share mine in return. The problem is, I am so hesitant to put it out there. Reason 1. I have no clue. I have truly tried to dedicate my path to God over the past year and be obedient to where He is leading me. In this process I feel confused and much like a ping pong ball. So, how can I be an inspiration to others if I am this jumbled?
Reason 2. Putting out there where you are going is a big commitment. This creates a whole level of accountability that you better be prepared to live up to. If I say I am going in one direction there are a lot of people at that finish line looking for me to show up. That is a bit intimidating!
So, in all honesty of where I am going, I spend the whole summer in the book of Deuteronomy studying the act of obedience. Ironically, this week in class, I learned that Deuteronomy literally means “second law” or the fact that the children of Israel had to be told the law for the second time as they first time was not good enough for their comprehension and compliance. That pretty much summed up my experience. God had told me to move on from two relationships and I kicked and screamed and held on to them way longer than I needed to. In the process, I created a whole lot of unnecessary heartache. Stupid!
Why do we think our reasoning is so much better than God’s? Why do we feel that we can really change the outcome of something God has ordained differently? It seems so rational in the process only to look totally idiotic in hindsight.
For those trying to move past something that you truly want to hang on to … let me help you – let it go! Trust me, God has a better plan. I am not sure what that plan is, exactly. But, I am hopeful, expectant and excited what it may be. I have learned that I cannot cling to the new without letting go of the old – you can only have one thing in your hand at a time.