High Five Fridays

Ok … I am a day late but better than last week when Friday turned into Monday …

1. No, I Won’t Lean In, Thanks – was a great article I read last week by Zosia Mamet. I had a very bad habit, at the beginning of my career, thinking everyone wanted to set the world on fire. I was wrong. Repeatedly. They frustrated me and I frustrated them. And, I failed, miserably, at leading them successfully. I was reminded that we are to support those we love in whatever they choose to do. Your dreams are your dreams. Success is defined differently by each of us … don’t encroach on another’s significance.
2. Dream. I was reminded this week that we need to revert back to those innocent, untainted dreams. As we age we morph our dreams into what we think makes sense; define them in terms of what seems practical for where we want to end up; reconstruct them as a result of the hurts from our past. And, often times, we simply let them die. Have you ever met a child that did not have ridiculously wild dreams? No. Why? Because God instills this characteristic in each of us, uniquely. What dream did you let fade?
3. Do what makes you happy. Literally. Writing makes me happy but all I did was whine about how I did not think I would be good at it; how I was very apprehensive about letting anyone see what was inside for fear of judgment. There comes a time when we just need to buck up and do what inspires us. Do what scares you! It’s exhilarating. PS – there will ALWAYS be critics.
4. The past is the past. Let it go. And let the Jones’ go as well. I see many that either perpetually try to reincarnate the past or jump on the racetrack to beat the Jones’. Neither are you. If you stop and candidly dissect the past, what did you discover? Reflect fondly on great memories; cringe at the crap; only hit repeat on the lessons well learned. But, move forward … in your own direction.
5. Respect who you are. We all have flaws – it is just the way we are made. But, if you do not respect you no one else will. I heard many women this week criticize themselves. Then, they criticized others. It was this big, negative spiral where positivity was very delinquent. And, sadly, I found myself in the center of it in both respects. When we quit pointing out the flaws of another there just might be room for a nice compliment or a bit of flattery. Try it. See how different you feel when you walk away.

HIGH FIVE FRIDAYS (I mean) MONDAYS

1. Put your best foot forward. I am notorious for rolling out of the house in sweats (in the winter) and cut-off sweats (in the summer) and often times sans make-up. Bad habit, I know. But, it worked and I was comfortable. What I learned from my dear friend is that she is ALWAYS put together (in that she isn't that girl that we roll our eyes at for taking 72 minutes to get ready to go to the market but she always looks great). By this I mean, when I meet her for sushi after work and she is “dressing down” she still has on skinny-ankle jeans, a tank top, well coordinated vest or jacket, a scarf or fun necklace and shoes that are not Rainbows. And, for the added “coolness” affect a great pair of sunnies frame her gorgeous face. She has inspired me to think about what I put on my body even if I am running up to the market. You just never know …
2. Have THAT song. Ya know the one where you want to break out in your best only-to-be-seen-in-the-privacy-of-your-own-home moves. Or, helps you walk 8 blocks from the Metro to work. This song just brings a smile to your face. I have a current one – Brave, by Sara Bareilles and a retro one - Let’s Get Married by Jagged Edge.
3. Aging = Inevitable. Do it with grace and acceptance. Had I known how quickly gravity would have worked on so many areas of my body in such a short amount of time I would have taken much better care of it earlier in life. I have always worn liquid liner but 20+ years of pulling on my eyelids, daily, does not bode well for me now. Sure, find a great anti-aging serum, cream, etc. but no freaky regiments. No one wants to look like Joan Rivers or Barbara Walters. Strive for Jen Aniston.
4. Guys are simple. Plain and simple. Their yes means yes and their no means no. They are simple in their communication. They are simple in their wants. It is us that try to make them as complicated as we are. When you ask your man if something is wrong and he says no he really means nothing is wrong. When you ask him what he is thinking and he says nothing, again, he really means nothing.
5. Have a signature scent. Find a scent that when you are close to someone they say, “You smell great. What are you wearing?” Granted, this is easier said than done. It takes many tries and failures to find a great fragrance but once you do it is totally worth it. I wore Chanel’s Mademoiselle for a decade. A few years ago I switched to Thierry Mugler’s Angel. The bad thing is, for me, since my ex and I have split I feel like I have to break up with my scent as well. Too many memories. But, time for some new ones with a new aroma! 

High Five Fridays

1. Know yourself. Know your strengths and know your weaknesses – we all have both. Surround yourself with those who counteract your weaknesses and have confidence in your strengths. I always strive to work on my weaknesses for they can always be improved but am realistic to understand that I will never convert them from a weakness to a strength.
2. Have your own personal style. For me, my sister always says I look like I walked out of a JCrew window. It is my style and it works for me. If it is totally eclectic, be eclectic all the time. If you are preppy-tailored, like me, then you get your pieces from those types of stores. Owning your own style means you look great without looking forced or having the clothes wear you as opposed to the other way around. Plus, when all your pieces go together it helps alleviate the dreaded 10-minute stand in front of your closet each morning thinking, “I have nothing to wear.”
3. Be able to love completely without completely losing yourself. Ladies, we are all subject to this. We get in this new relationship and it becomes all about him; what he likes; what he doesn’t like; who his friends are; how he likes to spend the weekends. The most successful relationships are when two whole people come together to compliment one another – not to look for someone to complete them. Know who you are; be confident in it. This allows you to compromise on things not compromise on you.
4. Organize! If I could, successfully, train ladies on this for a living I just might be able to retire next year. There is so much to be said for success for those that are organized. This allows you to take a comprehensive look at your life (professionally & personally) and see where all the pieces fit. You will know when to say yes and when to say no – with no guilt! It will allow you to successfully plan for things and events and people. If I could give only one piece of advice – this would be it. Learn an organizational system that works for you and you will be successful – guaranteed!
5. Know when to fold. I can argue until the cows come home when I am really passionate about something. I do not like to argue for the sake of argument but I can and do drive home a point when I feel I am not being heard. I do not recommend this strategy – it is not effective or rewarding. I am (slowly) learning when to fold. When I notice the conversation going around the same mountain for the third time and me & the other party are not anywhere other than where we started then I, gracefully (in my mind), back out and let the conversation die. I realize this is hard for us, as women.  When in debate with a man, I have often found that we are right (that intuition thing we got going for us) but if it hurts the relationship professionally or personally it has been proven that authenticating  “rightness” is not always the best course.  (As mentioned, still totally a work in progress. I mean, it’s hard to not be right!)

7 Random Things ~ MAY

I know I am several months behind ... but here is the latest and greatest ... 1. There is something about a man in a tux that always gets me – I’m talking swoon status!

2. I love cleaning out my closet when the season changes.

3. My favorite wrapping for a present is a galvanized tub, wrapped in some tulle, and tied with some bright ribbon and viola!

4. I really hate corn but thoroughly enjoy a good cornbread – go figure?!

5. I miss my grandmother more than I ever thought possible.

6. Sexy Back (by JT) is my ultimate workout song.

7. I love that what bothers me doesn’t faze my sister in the least. It helps neutralize what crazes me!

High Five Fridays

For a month (you know I have a hard time with writing commitments), each Friday I will spill five things/secrets that I think are relative - to me, of course. Most will probably be silly but, perhaps, one may help someone, somewhere, out there.  

1. Figure out what makes you happy. For me, a half a pot of coffee and the latest copies of Marie Claire, Glamour and In Style take me to my happy place. I read them cover-to-cover and rip out pages with great type, funny antidotes or clever quotes. I make a book each year with a compilation of all my torn pages.
2. What soothes your soul? I love jazz and red wine. There are no jazz stations left on the radio so I am subject to what Pandora has to offer or the “jazz-esque” MC stations from Comcast. When I am faced with a daunting task such as cleaning the upstairs portion of my house from the hurricane of what was a very hectic week I pour myself a nice glass of Cab and switch on Pandora. There is something sexy about the combo that makes the overwhelming task much more bearable.
3. Focus on the positive. I have never really been a fan of fake it ‘til you make it mentality so I had to figure out how to not fake it and find positivity in even the most negative of situations. For me, my formula is fairly simple … journal it (because once you get it all out on paper the situation seems much less devastating) and run it by a trusted friend. This sounding board should be a trusted confidante not someone who will wallow in your self-pity but will be honest, motivating and encouraging.
4. Have an ear-to-ear grin memory. Whether stuck in traffic or in a dreadful board meeting have a memory that once it pops into your brain you cannot help but smile from ear to ear. In traffic this will instantly calm your raging vocabulary. In a board meeting it will leave your coworkers wondering just what inspired such a gratified emotion.
5. Please, don’t categorize all us Christians as freaks. Despite what movies and television shows portray us to be we are not all that bad, abnormal or crazy (The image of Annelle from Steel Magnolias always pops into mind). Everyone needs a source of peace. For us, it is faith. You may not agree or like it but if you get to know us we are not half bad and, typically, most of us do not try to shove our beliefs or the Bible down your throat. We are a fairly gentle breed that stand strong in our belief. I mean, if Jason Kennedy can be one of us how bad can we, really, be?

7 Random Things ~ JANUARY

1. In my wallet, I have to have all my dollars facing upright, in the same direction, and in order of denomination.
2. Tried a Barre class for the first time last week. Just because you danced for 7 years in your youth does not make for muscle memory 25 years later.
3. Of the 138 accounts I am following on Instagram 132 of them are of Bostons or Frenchies.
4. Mango is my favorite fruit … and, surprisingly I was 37 the first time I tried it (was robbed as a child!).
5.  I will be trying 4 new recipes in February that are way outside my comfort zone. Stay tuned …
6. I envy people who can consistently stay up until 11 p.m. and run on 6 hours of sleep effectively.
7. I really wanted to be a model when I was younger. God knew what He was doing with that one!